A Female Perspective on The Friendzone, and How to Get Out While Minimizing Awkwardness

Here at DecodeHer, we interviewed Rachael for a female perspective on the friendzone. We also learned some tactics on how to get out, while minimizing awkwardness. Check it out:


Key Learning Points:

2:18: Can you tell if you’re “suddenly” out of the friendzone? Number one clue: Observe a girl’s eyes for a shift in behavior.

Is there sexual tension? For those who don’t know what sexual tension feels like, it’s almost a magnetism in the eyes. Sexual tension is when you two gaze into each other’s eyes and time slows down – super cheesy, I know. It’s when you both wonder who’s going to make the first move.

2:36: What are other shifts in behavior? Not talking about guy problems as much

If a girl has extended conversations about her guy problems, that means you, sir, are in the friendzone. Common knowledge, right?

4:36: Awesome tip for guys who might be in the friendzone

Here’s a litmus test to see if you’re in the friendzone. Move what you and the girl do into a more “date-y” environment and see how she handles it, such as a romantic dinner for two. If she’s friendzoned you, and she thinks the “hangout” feels too much like a “date”, she’ll clear the air. She might say something like, “It’s so nice to have such a good friend like you!” The good thing with this test is that it minimizes awkwardness.

7:44: It’s definitely tough to get out of the friendzone.

Duh, we know that. That’s why we should avoid the friendzone altogether. What’s that saying? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right?

8:23: Sometimes it’s out of your control whether or not you’re a friendzone candidate

Situation and timing are big factors. Girls go through different stages in their lives. Sometimes, they’re on the prowl and every guy is a potential lover. Sometimes, they want to take a break from guys. Ha.

9:23: Many girls won’t make the distinction between friend and potential lover right off the bat

Rachael actually told us the story about her current boyfriend. At first, she wasn’t physically attracted to him. She usually falls for the classically good-looking Ryan Gosling type, which the boyfriend wasn’t. But his personality won her over, and now she has grown to love his physical attributes. She describes him as a big, burly teddy-bear type.

BONUS: According to Rachael, here are some signs that you’re in the friendzone


When she openly talks to you about all the guys in her current life, and all the guys that she’s been with in her previous life, that’s a clear sign you’re in the friendzone. She has no problem discussing all the juicy details, which means she doesn’t care if you judge her.


The alternative wording to this is, “You’re type of guy I can see myself with.” Yet, she still doesn’t want to date you. Often times, this will go hand-in-hand with Sign #1. She’ll complain about how badly other guys treat her and praise you. It’s ironic that, for most girls, the guy that she can see herself with long-term isn’t the guy that she wants in the short-term, aka the present.


If there’s ever a phrase that means you’re in the friendzone, this might be it. A brother is not a lover. She wants to make it clear you two are just friends, and the word “brother” will do just that.


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4 Responses

  1. March 7, 2014

    […] all the guys who are in the friendzone: A Female Perspective on the Friendzone Although we know girls don't always give the best advice, at least they get the girl in this video […]

  2. March 7, 2014
  3. March 7, 2014
  4. March 7, 2014

    […] -Attractive young woman gives men intructions on moving out of the friendzone good advice or BS? […]

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